


Feeling epic

by MinaB



Category: The Vampire Diaries (TV), The Vampire Diaries - L. J. Smith
Genre: 8 x 16, 8 x 16 coda, Bonnie Bennett & Damon Salvatore Friendship, Coda, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s08e16 I was Feeling Epic, Fix-It of Sorts, Gen, Hurt Bonnie Bennett, Hurt Damon Salvatore, Stefan is dead, dead stefan, hints of bamon, mention bonenzo, steroline mention, tvd finale
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 06:46:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,254
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10300076
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MinaB/pseuds/MinaB
Summary: Damon mourns Stefan's death.





	

He was human. _Human?!_ He stared at the wall, a glass of bourbon in his hand, barely dangling from between his fingers, eyes tracing the fireplace in front of him, but not really seeing it. Stefan... _Stefan you idiot!_ His mind cried out, his heart lurched in his chest and he down the bourbon in one swift gulp, his vision blurring at the edges and his throat burning in a way it hadn’t in nearly 200 years. His brother was dead. The realization hadn’t hit until that moment, the burn of the alcohol filling his senses, dulling the usual sharpness of his mind. Stefan was _dead_. He wanted to scream, he wanted to go out and rip someone’s throat out, he wanted to throw himself into oncoming traffic. He was human and Stefan was _...dead._ He didn’t know how to function like this – how to even think, feel, _live?_ – but he knew he had to. Stefan died so he could live. He owed it to his brother.

The front door clicked shut softly, but he barely heard it anymore. Caroline plopped down next to him, a flurry of blonde hair and smudged make up. They’d been married for only a day. The second realization hit him even harder for some reason. Why, he didn’t know, just that it seemed so fucking unfair – to her, to him, to Stefan most of all. Why couldn’t his brother just once let him do something, why did he have to sacrifice himself like that? He hadn’t needed to; Damon had been more than ready to burn. Hell, he probably deserved it just as much as Katherine had.

He turned his head slowly, the room spinning and his stomach jumping to his throat – god, he was _human_ – to look at ... his sister in law. Caroline wasn’t crying. Not yet at least, but the funeral was in about 2 days and she’d had the benefit of throwing herself into the planning to avoid thinking about it. He thought he might’ve heard her sneak into Stefan’s room the past few nights, but he wasn’t sure. He was human. Stefan was dead. Facts his mind seemed to be struggling with. He turned back to the fire. He wanted to burn. Could he? Would that bring his brother back? Would that make everything alright again? He should have burned, then. Him. Not...

“ _Stefan_.” Whispered, the name feels like a prayer more so than anything else and Caroline shifts in her spot next to him, sniffling. She moves a bit, he sees her a little as she tucks a leg underneath herself and looks at him. Damon feels numb. So numb in a way turning off his humanity had never made him feel – so completely empty he wants to scream.

“Damon?” her voice trembles from the tears she refuses to shed. He tilts his head sideways, looking at her through narrowed eyes, the back of his head falling onto the couch. He arches an eyebrow in question.

“Are you- I mean... uhm... Is there anything I can do?”

The smile that appears on his lips is sharp, cruel in a way she hadn’t expected, but then it’s gone faster than she can blink. He shakes his head. He’s human now, nothing much he could do. Stefan’s dead.

“Do you know what you’re going to say?” she continues, a tear falling down her cheek, the another. She’s crying.

“Nope” He turns to stare back at the fire.

He flinches when her head comes to rest on his shoulder, her hair tickling his neck and filling his nose and mouth when he tries to tell her off. He ends up not saying anything, just shifting a bit on the couch to accommodate her better. When he swings an arm over her shoulders and she begins sobbing into his t-shirt, neither say a word. Damon is human. Stefan is dead. Two undeniable facts that burn through him like how he imagined the fire would have done.

“Idiot” he mumbles into her forehead, his lips brushing her skin and her tears damping his shirt. She huffs out a half laugh and makes a move as if to smack his chest with her hand. Instead she just grips his t-shirt and burrows her face into his chest harder. He doesn’t move; one hand over the back of the couch, the other dangling with an empty glass.

“I miss him” Caroline chokes out. Damon’s mind whirrs into overdrive. He doesn’t need to hear this, can’t think about this. Stefan is... Stefan...

The sob is ripped out of him by force, bruising his vocal chords and hitting him straight in the chest. Caroline startles up, eyes red rimmed and lips cracked and dry, huffing air to control her own struggle. The second sob is no less painful despite coming to his easier. His eyes burn – at last, he’s burning – and his heart feels too heavy for his body. He thinks he can’t breathe, but he doesn’t really care, Stefan can’t breathe either – Stefan s dead and he’s human.

“-amon, DAMON!” Caroline’s voice snaps his gaze towards her. She seems scared and frantic. He wonders why. His chest burns from the lack of air. He should try to breathe, Stefan would’ve wanted him to breathe he thinks.  The next series of sobs happen fast, too fast, as if suddenly rocks dislodge themselves from deep within him to come out as sobbing. His eyes are still burning, not yet crying, just this dry ache in his chest as he can’t seem to control his voice as it bursts into a litany of pain filled sounds. The tears don’t show up, not until Caroline is gently pushed aside and Bonnie drags his head towards her. She tucks him into the crease between her shoulder and neck and wraps her arms tightly around him. He thinks he’s a horrible friend. He thinks he’s a horrible brother. He wasn’t there for her when she lost Enzo. He wasn’t there for Stefan for a lot of things. He should’ve burned.

“No, you shouldn’t have. You should live” he must have said it out loud if Bonnie could answer it. He doesn’t know anymore. He can’t really think. It’s too much. Bonnie shifts under him, dragging his body along and the glass slips from his hand and rolls onto the floor. She lays both of them down, stretched out along the couch. Damon vaguely hears Alaric and the twins burst through the door to get Caroline home. Bonnie just holds onto him, crying as well and he squeezes tighter.

“I’m sorry about Enzo.” He says, mumbling it into the skin of her neck. She pauses, as if in a second she’s going to bolt from her place on the couch, before relaxing again against him. She kisses the crown of his head, tangling her fingers through the soft tresses. She cries as he holds her, mourning her lover properly for the first time and he clings to her sobbing as he mourn his brother.

“I’m human. Stefan’s dead.” He tells her later, staring up at her from where she’s holding onto him on the couch. She nods, her hair a mess and her eyes puffy, tear tracks digging into her cheeks.

“I’m a witch. Enzo’s dead.” She answers drily. He lifts a hand to her cheek and strokes the still wet skin with his thumb, wrapping himself closer to her. She needs it more than him, he thinks.

They fall asleep on the couch, too exhausted to move.


End file.
